On the 26th of December N turned four. I’ve noticed it with both children, something big happens at four. Something shifts. I’ve been staring at this photograph wondering how I managed to get a photo at all of a girl that is usually nothing short of a luminous whirlwind. I’m not sure I’ve managed to capture the contemplative intimacy in this quiet moment either.
This push and pull of parenting, bonding and connecting while simultaneously learning to let go, even just a little. Sometimes it feels like we’re all on a teeter totter, delicately shifting our intentions along with their weight forward and back, balancing our children’s needs with our own hopes and our fears.
She is four. This girl that still climbs into our bed at night, each time a bit closer to morning. I respond to each request of “Mama, snuggle me.” with “Yes.” and hold her close. I know this time is fleeting and these moments are already becoming less frequent. We can’t stop time, but I secretly wish I could bottle the smell of her hair, or find a way to always keep with me the feeling of her small soft hand in mine. Slowly, yet suddenly, she is four. And we can’t stop time. Not even with a camera.
On December 26th, N turned four. I have so much to say about that and am gathering my thoughts into coherent sentences to be shared with you soon. For now, this is the shawl I gifted to her. Often finding her with my own shawl folded in half and wrapped around her wee shoulders, it seemed high time she had one of her own.
This yarn might possibly be the most delicious stuff I’ve ever knit with. This shawl might possibly be the the prettiest thing I’ve ever knit. Perfect for my girl. The yarn is a yak, silk, merino blend purchased at a Fiber Festival I attend each year with a friend. It is soft, silky, and perfectly twisted. The pattern is Multnomah, which lends itself perfectly to variegated or semisolid yarns. Honestly, I sometimes avoid variegated yarns. They make me nervous and don’t always behave. This time though, this time pattern and yarn came together as though they were meant to be, just for my darling. So lovely.
Ravelry notes here.
I hope you’ll kindly forgive me for having been so quiet lately. I’m doing my best in enjoy the “in between” days that are between the 25th of December and the 1st of the new year. Quiet days. Days of reflection. Days spent full of lego and books and knitting and time on my meditation cushion and runs to school to feed the class turtle. Days full of gratitude for the year behind us and hope for the one ahead.
Wherever you are and whatever you are doing tonight, I wish you peace and gratitude.
Happy New Year!
Peace :: Love :: Joy
Wishing you warmth and light
on the shortest day and longest night.