How to begin…
Today there is snow on the ground. I like snow. It has a way of calming and quieting things.
Someone told me recently that it might be important to blog about what I (my family) am going though. Perhaps putting it out there, even as terrifyingly vulnerable as I am right now, may not only help me but other mothers and families as well. I started this blog in the first place as a way to connect, share, inspire. While I typically prefer to keep this a positive space, the reality is I’m struggling right now.
You see, my dear friends, l’m suffering from postpartum depression… or more accurately, postpartum anxiety.
I write this post from a hospital bed on a Nook borrowed from a kind friend. I have been in the hospital for just about a week.
After the birth of sweet Baby N, I found myself sick. I couldn’t keep anything down for days. I thought I had the flu.
Eventually I found myself in my local emergency room with an inflamed pancreas, twenty pounds lighter, and terrified. What on Earth was happening to me?
As it turns out, postpartum anxiety (or depression) can manifest itself in many ways, including making you physically ill. And please hear me when I say it is very real and truly can happen to anyone.
There is so much more to say and I miss my babies so much I ache. For now though, the only thing to do is take it one moment at a time.
Thank you for your kind words and support… And most espescially thank you to the family and friends that have rallied around my family during this challenging time.