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No Girls Allowed

August 15, 2011

B works full-time outside the home.  Before O was born, we wondered how this would impact our parenting and how we would still manage an egalitarian parenting style when one of us would obviously be home so much more than the other.  As we’ve found our way as parents, we’ve found that for the most part, this has just sort of naturally fallen into place.

Although B is not here for most of our weekday daylight hours, he still plays an equal part in parenting O.  One of the ways we’re sure this happens is to provide O with plenty of one on one time with papa, no girls (mamas) allowed!  This time isn’t just planned activities or outings, but mostly the everyday stuff that has to be done.  Together.

B and O get up and have breakfast together each morning.  During the week, this is a half hour or so at the beginning of the day just for them.  Mama uses this time to get dressed for the day and make the bed and so on.  If it is a weekend, we have breakfast as a family, but then papa and O usually go to the park alone while mama hangs back and gets some things done at home.  (This is especially great during the Summer when it’s best to get some time outside before it gets too hot!)

Each afternoon when B gets home from work, he invites O to help him make dinner.  If it happens to be a Friday, papa and O have a standing date to make homemade pizza.  O happily dons his apron and just loves rolling out the dough, not to mention sampling the various toppings!

In the evenings papa and O do most of the bedtime routine together.  O takes a bath while he and papa sing.  Meanwhile, mama finishes tidying up and makes them a snack.  After the bath, they eat a snack, read a few books, and brush teeth.  (This is when mama blogs!)  Mama emerges just in time for goodnight hugs and kisses and then retreats while papa tucks O in for the night.

Of course there are many things we do as a family but I believe these special father and son times are truly important for all of us.  I can’t help but wonder how this dynamic will change once we welcome a second child to our family.  I have no doubts that we’ll find our way as organically as we have all along but it sure is fun to speculate!

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2011 10:32 am

    this is what we do as well…obviously it’s a little modified with a 6 month old..but we feel it’s so important for daddy to have that special one on one time with our lil Emma Bear…thanks for the other great ideas as she gets older!

  2. August 16, 2011 10:49 pm

    We have a similar rhythm in our home and it works really well for us. Thanks for putting a spotlight on how a work-full-time parent can still be a full-time parent.

  3. August 30, 2011 9:44 pm

    Hey my friend. I just wanted to encourage you that if you and B are ever going through a rough time, to pull that post back out and read it. You describe such a beautiful relationship not only between papa and son, but between husband and wife, too. I never had the opportunity while married to have someone who wanted to spend time with his children (much has changed and he is a great dad now!), nor to ever serve the family by making meals or other such egalitarian type things (even though I was the one working FT outside the home and thus he had more than ample opportunity for these things). I think it shows so much respect to you that your children will see between mom and dad growing up, and that is INVALUABLE! It also provides the “mama” time that you need that rejuvenates your parenting abilities. I am so very glad your family has that. It’s good on so many different levels and says so much more than words can. Love you guys!


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